How to Kill a Conversation with a Stay-at-Home Mom

You’re home all day with these awesome little people, but you need some grown-up conversation. When the chance to talk to someone over three feet tall arises, it often flops. It’s hard to carry conversations when our lives are so centered on the events in our homes. When people ask questions, carrying a conversation is a challenge. Moms, are you with me??

Related: Parenting is Harder Than it Used To Be

 

10 Ways to Kill a Conversation with a stay-at-home mom

Have you seen (insert movie name)?

Is it on Netflix? Then no. I haven’t been to a movie theater since 2012.

 

Do you have any restaurant suggestions for me?

We like Chick-fil-a. The playground is phenomenal.

 

What concerts have you been to lately?

We had a great jam session going at Kindermusik last week.

 

What do you guys do all day?

Survive and play.

 

What have you guys been up to?

Juggling three different sleep schedules and going to bed early enough so that the 5:00 AM wake-up call isn’t too brutal.

 

Do you have any vacations planned this summer?

I’m hoping I can go to Target by myself.

 

I need a new book to read- do you

 

 have any suggestions for me?

Anything by Eric Carle?

 

Did you hear about (any news story)?

No. And please don’t tell me, because I’ll lose sleep over it.

 

Aren’t you worried that your child will fall behind/get a complex/etc.?

I wasn’t. But now I am.

 

I know how you feel. I have dogs. 

(Silence.)

 

Please know that these are all in jest! I’m not trying to create a new list of things you should and shouldn’t say!

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